3/8/06
I realize now that we were lucky that he made it through the night. It was a blessing that we had a little more time before we had to say goodbye.
Our dog, Max, had a fatal heart problem that put tremendous stress on his heart, and the vet who saw him at the 24-hour clinic gave him hours to a day to live. We’d taken him to the vet Monday evening, after he’d been panting excessively after a walk with Anne and his back legs gave out on him while he was trying to stand up.
“I would recommend that you put him down tonight,” the vet said.
Anne and I were in shock, and we broke down weeping in front of the vet. We agreed that we’d take Max home that night and stay with him. She was not ready to accept the inevitable, that our boy likely would have to be put to sleep. It was dawning on me that was the case, and I was heartbroken.
After the vet left us sobbing in the room, I walked out into the hallway, about ready to burst into a forbidden room where they were keeping our dog. “Where’s our pup?” I said angrily. “Why are they keeping him from us?”
Then we heard his piercing bark, like he knew we were out there trying to get to him. Somehow, it felt slightly reassuring, but not really.
I had thought of this possible inevitability many times before. You see, after falling for my wife Anne several years ago, I then fell for her dog Max. I fell so completely for him that occasionally when I would think of the probability that he would die before us, I’d feel sick inside at the thought of not having him as one of the family.
Everybody’s favorite pet is the best pet in the world, but I am not exaggerating a hair when I say that Max was the best dog ever born. He was a gentle 75 pounds of love, very mannerly and respectful of the cats, conscientious to a fault. Many times when I walked him in the neighborhood, someone would stop us and say, “That’s a pretty dog.”
“I just married into the family,” I’d tell them. “He’s my wife’s boy.”
Anne and Max found each other in 1999, when she was modeling in a fashion show benefit for Animal Rescue League. Some of the models were walking down the runway with a dog, and Anne saw Max, and asked to walk with him.
“He took off down the runway and I was in heels and almost fell,” she told me laughingly many times. Of course he’d stolen her heart on that runway, and she came back the next day and adopted him.
In the end, his heart had become grossly enlarged and fluid filled the sack around it, making it impossible for his heart and the rest of his system to function properly. He might’ve had the condition very shortly, the vet told us. “If you’d x-rayed him a month ago, you might’ve found nothing,” she said.
It all happened so fast. Maybe not, but it seemed that way.
Now I wonder why I didn’t recognize the signs that he was declining—how he sometimes was reluctant to go up the stairs, or why he slept so late or kept sleeping after Anne and I had left the room, or how he’d pant excessively sometimes after a walk. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and there’s no way to say that if we’d known and been gingerly with him, he might’ve lasted much longer.
It would happen that we would have to put him down on the kind of day on which he would’ve loved to romp on a walk with us—one of those clear, cool sunny days just right for a pup with his kind of coat. We called him a Snow Dog, because when it was snowy out, he’d run out into the snow and bury his face in it and roll around in it, like he was born for the snow.
I wrote a story about walking him in the snow that was published in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, and I actually met a neighbor because of it this past summer. One sunny day as I was working in one of our front yard flowerbeds, a woman who was new to the neighborhood walked up to me and said she’d read the story I wrote about walking Max.
“I liked the story, it had a nice feel to it,” she said, introducing herself. I thanked her, and she noticed Max in the front yard with me. “This must be Max,” she said, petting him a bit. A few days later, we saw her while we were on a walk, and I realized she lived about ten doors down.
I was raised in a dog-loving family, though my dad was the dog-loving king.
“He never met a dog he didn’t like,” my mom said many times. I feel much the same love for pups as my dad did. And I cried much harder after losing Max than I did after my dad died.
Franklin said beer is proof that God loves us. True, but pets are living, breathing, loving playmates that remind us of the simpler good things in life, like a sunny day, playtime at the park, a belly rub and a snack. They also remind us of our mortality, and of how important it is to enjoy that sunny day on a walk with a friend.
This story originally was published in Gist Blackridge.